GUYS!!!! I’ve been kind of MIA the past month. I had my tonsils out the beginning of February. Yikes. I did a lot of laying around, and definitely did not do a single entry, but I did jot down some topic ideas and a few things about them to discuss. Anyway, my tonsils are gone and I am healthy now. I’m a boss and did so great. Minus one miserable day. I was off of work for almost 2 weeks. I thought  I'd come back sooner than that, but my boss had other plans for my well-being. Bless you , Joni. Since I've been back to work, we have had a lot going on. So over all this time, I had kind of struggled deciding what topic I was going to talk about. I felt like I had too many topics. So I had to make some separate, for another time. But it turns out these other topics, kind of just tie together. I’m going to keep rolling with mental health, in the next entries, but I wanna share some things with you guys that are off topic. So I’m gonna start by talking about a few of the situations, incidences, and conversations that I have witnessed in the past month.

 

I want to start by saying, I’m the type of person that hates conflict. Regardless of what anybody says I hate conflict. Primarily with those I care about and love. Uncomfortable situations are not really my forte either. Uncomfortable situations to where you can feel the tension in the room between people. I. Hate. That. I used to be the type of person that didn’t address my feelings towards other people or if I had a problem with them I wouldn’t say anything. I would still act like their friend. I’ve grown to be this person who other people think has changed, now I’m more of a bitch. Maybe so. I can honestly say that's gotten me more places than being passive aggressive all the time and not addressing my issues. Do I still feel uncomfortable saying, that I think? For sure. We get nowhere if we just avoid conflict and uncomfortable situations. If we’re being honest, a lot of people can’t take honesty and the truth. They think it’s harsh or rude. That’s where the saying truth hurts comes from. Some people can take the truth, and some people can't. You are either one or the other. There are so many different types of people in this world. You all know that. There’s the quiet ones, there’s the abrasive ones, there’s a confident ones, there’s the “know it all ‘s”, there’s the no conflict ones, there’s the argumentative ones, there’s the flat out assholes. We all see and deal with them daily. Or at least I do.

 

When I had my surgery, I had such great care. I suffer from RBF (if you don't know what that means, look it up.. you may suffer from the same thing). So a lot of people think that I am intimidating and not approachable. Don't care. Anyway, back to what I was saying, I have not witnessed better nurses! They were all super nice! I have done nothing but deal with great nurses for the past few weeks. For myself, but also for youth at my facility as well. Our youth, where I work, are hard to deal with sometimes. But whenever a nurse from a different facility is involved with their care, they do SO good. It makes me happy. And they don’t deal with our kids all day every day. Don’t get me wrong, some are scared of them and some I’ve had that are bitches. There has been times where I have told the doctor that specific nurses will no longer be allowed to see her youth, because they act a certain way. Think what you want, but they are kids. And I am protective. This is where I don’t mind uncomfortable situations and I don’t mind conflict. You look at our kids or treat them a certain way? Bet your ass I'll be addressing that with you or your boss. Anyway, the past few weeks have been great as far as that goes. And they’re not just nice to are youth they’re also nice to me, and I have a great interactions with them. Which makes my job easier. Honestly, I have issues with women. Bluntly, most are two-faced. Don’t get it twisted, I’ve done my fair share of being two-faced. And I’ve come along ways with that. But not only are they two-faced, but they are super judgmental. And again, I have done my fair share of judging and to this day I’m still working on it, because I catch myself doing it almost every day. But the nurses were super nice and I had no issues with any of them. Yes, some are snoopy and look in the room because they probably wanna be one that gets to say “Oh yeah, I saw the YRTC youth. He looked scary.” Jokes on you. Most of the time they aren’t, because I lecture them before we go anywhere. Anyway, I love that nurses are nice. Not even just them. People. In fact, every day I make a phone call to a facility or a company, to  schedule an appointment, or a answer the phone from a call from a lady or a gentleman from another facility or company. I always at least have one or two people that are just nice. I love that! I get off the phone and I always say, “Oh my gosh, they were so nice!” (Read in a peppy girl voice). But for real you guys I love that. And it’s so hard to find. Which brings me to my next event.

 

Choosing your battles. Not every battle needs to be fought. At work we did COVID vaccines for the staff. We had almost 200 vaccinations. And 142 staff that had signed up for the vaccination. It was to start at 0900, and we had outside nurses scheduled to administer the vaccinations for us. Our staff was supposed to “come and get it” accordingly. First come first serve. (Oh. No. Poor word choice.) Well our help we had scheduled to help, was going to be about a half an hour late. At this point, we had about 40 people in one tiny area, waiting for their vaccine. Some patiently (not me) and some not so patiently (me). Imagine 40 people in a small space. I was going to compare it to something, but I couldn’t think of anything comparable. Just know my claustrophobia and RBF kicked in pretty fast. We had told them that it was going to be about 30 minutes longer and to feel free and go about your morning and we will let you know when they are here. A few people just went back to their offices. The others didn’t. Don’t get me wrong most of them probably didn’t really feel the need or scheduled this for their morning. Cool. Cool fricken beans you just wait here with 40 other people and breathe same air and talk about how you can’t wait all day because you have so much stuff t get done. There is snacks you guys.  Okay, after an extra half an hour the snacks are dwindling down. But here comes the nurses we had come help us at 0940! Before they came into the fish bowl of a space, I told our staff to move to the other side of the room and form a line, going out the door. You guys. I am not a teacher. Nor can I even fathom what it’s like to have kindergartners lineup. But I feel like this was close. If anybody I work with is reading this (and I'm cool with you) and you were there, you know what I'm talking about. Just know I’m not talking about you, unless you really were one actin’ like a kindergartner. But if you weren’t, then you know I’m probably talking about the other people actin’ like they won’t get their snack if they are last in line. I am not joking when I say at least a handful of those 40 people said, “Well if we all have to go stand by the door, how do we know who was here first?” or “I was here first so I should get to go first.” or “Wait, so who gets the vaccine first?” Oh. Em. Gee. Ummm... Excuse me. You are not a 5 year old waiting for your snacks to be passed out. There’s plenty to go around precious children, please wait like the grown adult you are. Insert palm to face. Or insert RBF, with face mask. I mean after we addressed that it was better. But it shouldn’t have even gotten there in the first place. Am I wrong? Which brings me to my next event. 

 

I go to Walgreens to pick up a prescription for one of our boys. As I waited 35 minutes in the drive-through for the pharmacy. I finally get to the window. There’s two cars behind me and this pick up goes into the other lane. Cool. That’s what it’s therefore. As I am talking to the guy at the window, this 50-year-old (assuming) guy start honking his horn and yelling, “I was here first!” I looked over at him and shook my head. Like what are you doing? This kid inside the pharmacy, who was not even 20 years old, that was helping me, looked a little frightened. He continued to help me as this guy continued to honk his horn and yell “I was here first.” Then he called me a F***ing Bitch. So naturally, without warning, my middle finger goes up and waves in my window at him. Oops. Ha! So this guy calls me this name and at this point is standing outside with his pickup door open. The only time I WISH it was -26 degrees out. May the Lord bless frostbite upon your testicles, deep inside your lungs, and on your tongue. Standing outside, and going back and forth to honk his horn and talks about how unfair the situation is. Are you kidding me? So then I get my prescriptions. And start to pull away and he is STILL yelling at me and honking his horn. All right dude at this point, I’m contemplating ending your life. I stepped on my brakes and thought better not he’s probably on drugs or drunk. And that thought process probably saved my life. I don't have weapon, but possibly with my bare hands? I mean at that point, I would have found a way. Anyway I’m pulling away and then he yells at the kid in the pharmacy how this isn’t fair and he was here first as he’s STILL honking his horn and then started yelling profanities!!! Then “Hey! Listen to me! I was here first.” As he still honking his horn and upset because he didn’t get helped after I left. I’m pretty convinced that when he said “Hey! Listen to me!” I don’t think that the kid in the pharmacy was listening. Yeah, trust me as long as you’re actin' like that your ass isn’t getting any help from anyone. Except for maybe the cops... to jail. Come back tomorrow, essè, today isn’t your day. 

 

You guys people are pathetic. And it isn't just becuase of COVID-19. People really act like that. He might’ve been having a bad day, but I can guarantee you on my worst day I’m not actin’ the fool in Walgreens pharmacy drive-through. Coping mechanisms are so important. 10 deep breaths, counting to 10, thinking of things that make you happy. At least try them before you get out of your pickup and yell profanities or before almost crying because you were first in line and now you have to move and may not get your spot back. I just wish that people would use more of comping mechanisms. Hell, I use them every day. You know I get that people have bad days. And that might reflect them being a bitch or an asshole. Or the type of people that I listed above. But at the end of the day we choose how certain things are going to affect our day. Do we let them affect our day and our attitude? Or do we build off them and adjust? (Valid questions from a wise man *insert heart*). If we aren’t involved we witness things, and we all have things that we witness every day that are relatable. We are all different. God made us different. I’m not saying that there’s not other people that don’t like conflict. I know a lot of people that don’t like conflict. I was raised that way. They don’t like uncomfortable situations. I was raised that way too. They don’t like constructive criticism. It wasn't something I was use to. But these things are good. They help you grow. So I just kind of reflect back on the situations like these. Did I do enough? Did I grow from the situation or the incident or the conversation that I had? I have a thing where sometimes I go out of my way to tell another female that they are pretty. Or that she has pretty eyes. Or that her make up looks good. Or that she has nice hair. I have always been like that regardless of my feelings towards females. And I think that’s such a big deal. Trust me I’m not a feminist I don’t believe in things like that. However, I do believe that, now more than ever females are degraded or constantly comparing themselves to others. Causing mental health issues. I didn’t get distracted, but it brings me back to my reflection questions.

 

So when I say did I do enough? Did I grow from the situation, incident or conversation that I had? I saw the nurse that saw one of our youth just yesterday. I let her know how much I appreciated her bedside manner. Her non-judge mental and caring attitude. In nursing school, you take an oath to give equal amount of care to each patient regardless of their background. And she showed that 100%. Her name is Katie. She was so appreciative of those kind words. No, I didn’t tell her she was pretty or that she had pretty eyes. But the way she responded was as if I told her that. And I believe that that is so important in life. I would say that I did enough and I did grow from that. But the other situations I spoke of, above, not so much. It’s so easy to get in your feelings and ignore the opportunities of growth. Maybe I could have had some growth by kicking that guys ass. Just kidding. But maybe he did need medical attention in some sort of way and I could have helped. Although, the state of mind he was in I wasn't going to try it. Definitely a safety thing. Or maybe I could have addressed the organization better when the staff was coming to get their vaccines. Told them how it was going to go BEFORE the nurses got there. Would I have still gotten the same feedback? Maybe. But now we will never know. The way we respond, the situations we are put in, the conversations we have can be difficult some days. Daily struggle. Daily work. I hope this entry wasn’t all over. But I do believe they all kind of go together. And I thought it would be a little intriguing for you guys to hear a little bit about my job. The staff that work there aren't like that. I just think its been a long time coming for the vaccinations and people were antsy. Nonetheless, maybe you liked to hear some of my interactions with people. Umm.. and my internal thoughts. Ha! Thanks my dudes. I’m on the mend and back. Next entry coming soon. Peace homies!