I was ambivalent on this post. But I thought it would be a good "teaser" blog, and it fits the holiday season. It isn’t a happy holidays feel though. But on the other hand it isn’t something to get all in your feelings about.

Once upon a time, I had six family Christmas’. Now, I have one. I had two on my side (my grandparents and my parents) three on my ex-husband’s side (Christmas Eve at his parents, his grandparents, and his parents). Honestly at the time, it was almost annoying how many Christmas’ we had to go to. Make food for this, make last minute trips to the store because I forget everything, run home because we forgot something. So many hugs, I love you’s, and smiles. There was late nights, early mornings, and church services. Talk about busy, busy, busy and forgetting the “reason for the season.” Honestly the holiday season has been hard for me since my separation/divorce. Not because of the extra money and gifts. I didn’t care about that even when I was married. It is hard because I no longer have of the presence of family on Christmas Day.

The feeling of being around people you love all day. My immediate family celebrates Christmas on a different day (not on Christmas Day). But my dad's side would celebrate Christmas afternoon at my grandparents' house. My grandpa passed away February 3rd of this year and my grandma has been in and out of the hospital and nursing home since then. She just got home this last week from the nursing home. Needless to say, we won’t be doing Christmas at her house due to COVID. So Christmas morning and day is now for me and my thoughts. Drink wine, watch Hallmark Christmas movies all day. Thee life. Not. I have brought this on myself, that’s true. So don’t feel sorry for me. I do believe I will get to have that again someday! But, that’s not the meaning of this entry. My meaning is, I think we get so caught up in gifts and money that we forget the true meaning, the birth of Jesus and being with family. I know, its cliché. So giggle if you want to!

But in all seriousness, don’t take things for granted. It could all be gone one day. Not because of divorce, I mean maybe, but because ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! It could be the last time you get to make your sister’s favorite desert, the last time you get to make your husband run to the store for chocolate chips, because you are forgetful. It could be the last run home together because we forgot something due to always running late. The last hug from grandpa. The last I love you from your nephew. The last smile you get to see on your dad’s face. The last late night drinking with your in-laws playing UNO and calling your father-in-law a douche because he played a draw 4 after he skipped you twice. Oops. Or it could be the last early morning and church service you get to attend. Love your messiness during this time of year, hell, all year for that matter. You might not get it tomorrow!

This entry was for the ones who are easily distracted by the things that go on during Christmas time. And I was/am one of them. I hope you all enjoyed my “teaser” entry. I look forward to see what the future holds for me and my blog/vlog. Thanks, my dudes! Have a Merry Christmas!